I’m not so good at small talk. Maybe it’s because I don’t like small talk. I don’t like responding with cliche responses. But for some reason, everybody born and raised in the States has this desire to respond with the default. When I ask people how they are doing, it’s usually “I’m good” or “I’m tired.” A close third place would be a reference to prelims (for non-Cornellians these are basically midterms). To me, “I’m good” reflects either a lack of social vocabulary or a lack of interest. “I’m tired” reflects either a lack of social vocabulary or a lack of interest in a more apathetic state of mind. “I’m gonna fail my prelim” reflects either a lack of social vocabulary or a lack of interest in a more apathetic state of mind topped with some self-pity. How exciting small talk is.

I realized recently that I often succumb to this social norm, much more more than I would like to, so I’ve taken up the process of expanding my response options. Here are some responses I’ve come up with to further encourage the departure from surface-level conversation. Warning: Awkward moments may arise.

“I’m stellar!”
“Splashingly swell, ol’ chap.”
“I’m mad good.”
“I’ve been tripping up on my inputed righteousness.”
“I feel like the sun.”
“Electric!”
“Today is my philosophical day.”
“I feel like Indiana Jones/the Terminator/Sherlock Holmes/Jigglypuff.”
“My heart is flowing with joy and blood.”

Of course, such responses are no better than the default responses if the conversation is left there. Perhaps a few sentences could be provided explaining the reason for such a response. Then the conversation can carry on from there, newly refreshed and ready to fly.

There is, however, a difference between describing a conversation and having a conversation. It’s easier to say what to put into practice than to actually practice. But practice makes perfect. Or to be more pessimistic/realistic, practice makes better.

I’m gonna start talking big.

– Larry